Breathe.

Kultunlilni represents breath,

the air that gives us our life force.

The Mayan word for breath is "I'q" -

which is the air element.

The air element represents spirit, our ancestors.

I understand breath to be a portal that guides us into the spirit world within, where our ancestors assist us in releasing what is necessary + reconnecting us with powerful aspects of ourselves.

At the beginning of my spiritual remembering, I began experiencing anxiety + panic episodes.

I was opening myself up to the universe + my truth.

One of the largest truths I realigned with is that I am very sensitive.

While shopping, I would touch products and feel energy crawling up my arm. I would lose my vision + feel energy pushing me. Sometimes the energy was so heavy that I would forget who I was and where I was. Going to the back of grocery stores was the worst. I would unexpectedly lose my vision. I always reacted by running out of buildings.

It went on for years. I could not accept it. I obsessively searched for solutions.

I tried everything - cold showers, diet changes, and attending all types of healing workshops, etc.

Unfortunately these tools never addressed the root.

In 2021, my panic attacks led to 6 months of spontaneous nervous breakdowns.

It was the catalyst for me to experience many perspectives, as well as aligning me with a very gifted shaman.

The shaman explained why Spirit would NOT take my anxiety away.

He said, "The anxiety is serving a purpose, let it be."

I accepted it and let it be.

Over a year later, while grocery shopping with my husband J, I unexpectedly felt overwhelmed and panicked. Within seconds I lost 90% of my vision.

I asked if we could leave. He was annoyed and insisted I wait for him in the car.

Without clear vision I ran towards the light coming in from the entrance door.

I felt my entire body shaking. I felt as if I was going to blackout.

For the first time, I wasn’t angry at myself.

When I sat in the car, an enormous wave of emotion came over me.

My heart, my body, and my soul knew it was time to leave my relationship.

Where would I go? How would I survive with 3 kids and alone when I couldn’t even go to a store without running out? Panic kicked in. I called on Spirit to help me help myself take action this time. They said, "Instagram right now.” A saved Live was the first thing I saw on my feed. They said, "Yes, that's it."

It was a breathwork experience guided by a practitioner. I had been following him and appreciated his content, but never fully connected to his work on a soul level. I didn't see how this could work. I've tried breathwork before and it wasn't memorable.

Spirit encouraged me to keep an open mind and an open heart.

I went for it and fully surrendered to the experience.

It was life-changing in a way I had never experienced before.

Because of my Oracleness, it felt like what people describe as an

Ayahaysca journey. I had psychedelic visions, specifically deserts highlighted in

Neon fuchsia. I felt multiple energy pops in my lower back + lower abdomen.

I felt energy swirling within my body. I felt it move up and out of me as I exhaled.

I felt as if a file cabinet of trauma I had been storing fully opened up.

Within seconds, a full movie formed:

I saw myself age 17. I was sitting in a car with my mom. We were in the parking lot of a grocery store. I told her I couldn’t go into the store with her because I felt weak and dizzy. She insisted I go with her, so I went.

I was disoriented and overwhelmed by the people in the store.

By the time we got to the back of the store, I called my mom and told her I needed to leave. That’s when I lost my vision and blacked out.

I woke up in an ambulance.

I was anemic and prescribed iron supplements.

Bringing my awareness back to my body, I noticed I was exhaling fear.

The color fuchsia was growing within my aura. My aura was glowing.

With every inhale I took, I felt my authentic high energy and free-spirited essence grow.

It became crystal clear. I lost myself because I used my sensitivity to scan, notice, and react to energy. I could see how I wasn't meant to notice or absorb the energy in places, I was meant to create the energy.

At the end of the breathwork journey, I knew this was the root.

This was the medicine I was meant to align with.

I had deep resentment towards my energetic sensitivity for years.

I tried to shut it all down.

I felt weak + found mirrors to mirror that belief back to me.

For years my body was trying to liberate itself. So much clarity and so much gratitude.

I was hooked. I experienced a couple more breathwork sessions. More clarity and courage was felt.

Life went on.

Within months J made unexpected choices that created a beautiful opportunity for me to see how far I've really come. Would I breakdown? Yes, I sure did, but only for 20 minutes. Did I have a panic attack or anxiety?

Absolutely not.

Instead I felt an energetic fog clear and I laughed until I cried.

I responded with total heart acceptance and trust. I thanked J for playing the role he played for years. It created the opportunity for me to fully choose myself by ending our 10 year marriage. I fully embraced what Spirit taught me, accept it and let it be.

During the beginning stages of our divorce, I became a breathwork practitioner. Stepping into that role helped me create the space I needed to navigate months of grief and uncertainty.

It's been over a year since experiencing my first breathwork session.

I am proud to say that my children and I are very happy in a new city and state. We love it.

No more running out of grocery stores for me.

I am proud to say that J and I are in an amazing place as really good friends and coparents.

Kultunlilni was the medicine. My breath cleared trauma + created the path I was ready to take. I have been able to reconnect with aspects of myself I had lost touch with. I have been able to come home to myself with more experience + stories to tell.

I know Spirit led every breathwork session I experienced.

They used it as an opportunity to show me exactly why I went on the intense journey.

So yes, my anxiety had a purpose.

x Leticia

IRIS AURA